SYNONYM TOAST


Words and Music ©2009 Jeff Warren (BMI)
Published by Squeak and Miv Music (BMI)

Let me tell you 'bout the dictionary, although it's big and thick it's not too scary.
This lexicon of words can be your friend,
From aardvark way up front to zymosis near the end.
What's also great is something called thesaurus,
Putting different words, same meaning right before us.
No need to use the same words over and again,
When you engage in smartly using synonyms.
So instead of saying big you'd say gigantic, tremendous or humongous or titanic,
Use jumbo or colossal when you can, and don't forget about gargantuan.
These words have the same meaning use them all,
When you have to say that's something's not so small.
A secret that not everybody knows, is learning how vocabulary grows.
By reading you can practice every day, and know exactly what to write and what to say.
If I ask you, "Are you happy?"
Say, "No, I?m jubilant! Thrilled, elated, chipper, blissful, mirthful, blithe, exuberant."
And if you told me you were sad?
I?d tell you not to mourn, and maybe use morose, disconsolate, somber, forlorn.
Instead of using slow let torpid come to mind.
Lethargic, creeping, dilatory, inert, or disinclined.
When describing something fast?
Expeditious, maybe haste?
Dashing, swift, accelerated, hurried, and apaste.
I?ve taught you some new words so this song has met its goal.
Providing confidence and more grammatical control.
it's the least that I can do for you my friends,
To teach you how to use those synonyms.
But this song must have an end, on that you can depend.
A finale, a conclusion, termination, resolution.
Farewell, goodbye, so long, synonym.
Farewell, goodbye, so long, synonym.
Farewell, goodbye, the end.


NO MORE KISSES


Words and Music ©2009 Jeff Warren (BMI)
Published by Squeak and Miv Music (BMI)

Aunt Bertha came for dinner with my Uncle Aloicious.
Mommy cooked a casserole so tasty and delicious.
Now Daddy's in the kitchen helping Mommy with the dishes,
With Aunt and Uncle chasing me lips puckered up like fishes.
I've been kissed a lot tonight, all against my wishes,
And now they're closing in on me again and I'm suspicious.
It's a loving gesture that I know is not pernicious,
But please give me some room to breathe and stop with all the kisses!
No more kisses tonight. No more kisses alright?
Family's come to visit, hugs and kisses they'll solicit.
No more kisses tonight!
No more kisses tonight. No more kisses alright?
Family's come to visit, hugs and kisses they'll solicit.
No more kisses tonight!
I went to church on Sunday and saw lots of people who,
Were happy to come up to me and plant a kiss or two.
And some folks took the liberty to dole more than a few.
I wanted no more kisses so I hid behind a pew.
When we got home I kicked my shoes off coming through the door.
My kitty cat then kissed me as I played down on the floor.
I hurt my finger later, Mommy kissed where it was sore,
Then Daddy got a Band Aid and he kissed it one time more.
No more kisses today. No more kisses, I say.
I cannot underscore that I'm not wanting anymore.
No more kisses, no way!
No more kisses today. No more kisses, I say.
I cannot underscore that I'm not wanting anymore.
No more kisses, no way!
Everyone who knows me has become a kissing fool;
A kiss from Mommy right before I leave the house for school;
A kiss from nanny later when she takes me to the pool;
A kiss from Daddy after work's a well-established rule.
But kissing on the playground is the thing that I hate most.
Whenever I see Abby, Maddy, Hannah getting close,
I panic, palms are sweaty, face whiter than a ghost.
Don't the girls all realize that kissing's really gross?
No more kisses, my dear. For the record let me be clear.
Getting one more kiss definitely not on my list.
No more kisses, you hear?!
No more kisses, my dear. For the record let me be clear.
Getting one more kiss definitely not on my list.
No more kisses, you hear?!
It's tough to make the point that lots of kisses will not do.
Especially when kisses are from people who love you.
So when you get so many kisses all throughout the day,
You'll feel better in an instant when you give them all away,
Give them all away.
I receive so many kisses, maybe thousands every week?
Sometimes I even find there's lipstick left upon my cheek.
Kisses on my nose and ears and even in my hair,
People blow me kisses, now they're floating through the air.
Any given day I'm getting kisses by the bunch.
I receive so many kisses, a million's my new hunch.
I can't avoid those kisses, I've been beaten to the punch,
Because I just found chocolate kisses sitting in my lunch!
No more kisses today. No more kisses, I say.
I cannot underscore that I'm not wanting anymore.
Family's come to visit, hugs and kisses they'll solicit.
No more kisses, no way!
No more kisses tonight. No more kisses alright?
I cannot underscore that I'm not wanting anymore.
No more kisses tonight!
No more kisses tonight!
Mom and Dad come in to turn off the light,
(No more kisses)
And right before they tuck me in tight,
(No more kisses)
They want one more kiss then goodnight.
(No more kisses)
They want one more kiss then goodnight.
(No more kisses)
Okay, one more kiss then goodnight!


ROCKET


Words and Music ©2009 Jeff Warren (BMI)
Published by Squeak and Miv Music (BMI)

Rocket sitting on the launching pad, and it's pointing out towards space.
Astronauts in orange space suits, helmets are in place.
Sitting in the capsule. pre-flight check, all systems go,
Listening to the countdown over the radio,
and it goes ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, blast off!
Rocket hurtles out into space and it's traveling very fast.
Sky gets dark in the windows as it reaches space at last.
The moon, the stars, the planets are quite a sight to see
The spaceship gently arcs as it is reaching apogee.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine hundred miles above the Earth,
One thousand miles above the Earth.
And it goes one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine ten thousand miles per hour,
Twenty thousand miles per hour.
Floating out in space no need for walking on your feet,
Scientific experiments, then the mission is complete.
The crew straps in, the thrusters fire, re-entry is a go,
Ships and helicopters circle the ocean down below.
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one,
Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, splash down!


THADDEUS VON GUNTEN AND THE UNFORTUNATE LUNCHROOM INCIDENT


Words and Music ©2010 Jeff Warren (BMI)
Published by Squeak and Miv Music (BMI)

Thaddeus von Gunten was always up to somethin', curiosity matched only by a few.
Always so intent to start a new experiment. Took things apart to find out what they do.
Questions some found charming and others found alarming,
He asked until the mystery was solved.
His intentions they were true but sometimes mischief would ensue,
A signature that Thaddeus was involved.
ThadDeus did well on days reserved for show and tell.
So many things to bring how could a boy decide?
One day he grabbed a frog from Mr. Stillman's bog, and put it in his lunchbox for a ride.
(For a ride, for a ride)
Lunch time came and across the bench Thad slid,
He opened up the lid, and this is what the froggy did…
The frog jumped up into the air, people stopped and stared, Gina Horton she got scared!
Along the table froggy crept, in Scotty's pudding bowl he lept, Gina sat beside and wept.
The frog launched an amphibious attack on Scotty's pudding snack,
A trail of chocolate tracks made their way to Gina's gingham dress,
Making quite a gingham mess, froggy continued his egress across the floor,
Right across the floor.
The frog jumped in the middle of the fray,
Became the special of the day when he landed on a tray.
Girls were screaming, boys were yelling, "Cool! A frog is loose inside the school!"
Poor Thad felt like a fool.
The frog jumped up in Miss Runyon's purse, who fainted so they got the nurse,
Things were bad and getting worse.
The janitor chased froggy with a mop, slipped on the wet floor, went down plop,
As the frog took one more hop right out the door.
He hopped right out the door.
After lunch the classroom was so quiet,
Thaddeus preparing for the worst.
Expecting a long walk down to the office,
And a phone call home that would not be the first.
Thaddeus von Gunten, please report to the office.
Thaddeus von Gunten to the office…immediately.
The lunch room had recovered from the mayhem.
Miss Runyon looked quite good after her spell.
She called Thad up by name, asked him to explain,
What not to bring to school for show and tell.
So Thaddeus began…
"When I came to school this morning, there should have been a warning,
As to what I hid inside of my lunch pail.
The frog he came and went, an unfortunate incident, now I realize I should have brought my
Snail." (brought my snail, brought my snail)
It would not have jumped on Gina's dress, would not have made a giant mess,
Would not have caused so much distress.
Rather it would have slid real nice and slow, not such an entertaining show,
But less is more by now you know.
I am filled with deep regret. I know the teachers are upset, and the janitor's all wet.
I hope that froggy's found a pond, I'm praying nothing else goes wrong,
Just then a scream came from beyond the classroom door,
From beyond the classroom door,
The frog jumped up into the air!


ICE CREAM


Words and Music ©2009 Jeff Warren (BMI)
Published by Squeak and Miv Music (BMI)

I like ice cream. Put a scoop right in my bowl.
Cover it with sprinkles, get a spoon, and eat it up while it is cold.
Ice cream sundae, milk shake, banana split.
When I eat a frozen treat it is a feat to stop I never wanna quit.
Consider my luck when the musical truck comes jinglin' down my street.
I get a sugary cone to eat all on my own, a perfect antidote for summer heat.
I like chocolate, vanilla, strawberry don't ya know?
And don't forget mint chocolate chip, butter pecan, rocky road, pistachio.
A la mode means put a scoop right on my pie.
I love to savor all the flavors, don't' think there's any left I've yet to try.
Consider my luck when the musical truck comes jinglin' down my street.
I give the change in my hand to the Good Humor man and in return I get an ice cream treat.
I think ice cream every moment every day.
When I'm sitting there in school, reading books, riding bikes or out to play.
At bed time I always have the same dream –
Neighbors Baskin Robbins, brothers Ben and Jerry, Mom's the dairy queen!
I scream, you scream for ice cream topped with nuts, hot fudge, whipped cream.
One red cherry sits on top. It tastes so good I just can't stop.
I want ice cream, a cup or cone will surely do.
Let's go get ice cream! Shall we get one scoop maybe two?
I like ice cream. Yes, I really, really do.
Do you like ice cream? I bet you really like it, too.
I bet you really like it, too.
I bet you really like it, too.


ANIMALS IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD


Words and Music ©2009 Jeff Warren (BMI)
Published by Squeak and Miv Music (BMI)

One dog is yellow, one is black. I say "Hello!" They bark back.
They are dogs. They go, "Woof!"
They are dogs. They go, "Woof!"
I've got a big, black, fuzzy, old cat. He lays in the shade on a welcome mat.
He's a cat. He goes, "Meow!"
He's a cat. He goes, "Meow!"
These are the animals in my neighborhood,
These are the animals that I see every day,
All kinds of animals in my neighborhood,
Listen closely to what they say.
There's a horse that's two doors down,
A mane and tail and a coat that's brown.
She's a horse. She goes, "Neigh!"
She's a horse. She goes, "Neigh!"
I look in the tree and to my surprise,
An owl looks back with two big eyes.
It's an owl. It goes, "Whoo!"
It's an owl. It goes, "Whoo!"
Watching all the animals in my neighborhood,
Sitting very still with my eyes open wide,
It's a wildlife adventure in my neighborhood,
All I do is step outside.
A long, smooth snake slithers on the ground.
I better be careful as I walk around.
It's a snake! It goes, "Hiss!"
It's a snake. It goes, "Hiss!"
Green and bumpy, sitting on a log,
Down by the creek is a great big frog.
It's a frog. It says, "Ribbit!"
It's a frog. It says, "Ribbit!"
Dogs and cats and horses, too,
Owls and snakes and frogs are a few,
Of the animals I see living all around,
My neighborhood and they're making lots of sounds,
In the sky and the trees, near the creek, and on the ground.
It was amazing when I looked it was amazing all the animals I found,
All the animals I found.
Now you know the animals in my neighborhood.
They are the animals that I see every day.
What about the animals in your neighborhood?
Why don't you name them when you're out to play?
"Woof" and "meow" in my neighborhood,
"Neigh" and "whoo" in my neighborhood,
"Hiss" and "ribbit" in my neighborhood.
What do you hear in your neighborhood?
In your neighborhood,
In your neighborhood,
It was amazing when I looked around all the animals I found,
All the animals I found.
It was amazing when I looked around all the animals I found.


GARAGE


Words and Music ©2009 Jeff Warren (BMI)
Published by Squeak and Miv Music (BMI)

The door goes up and down when you push the button on the wall,
Up and down, push the button in my car.
It goes up and down, opening and closing the garage.
The door goes up and down when you push the button on the wall,
Up and down, push the button in my car.
It goes up and down, opening and closing the garage.
Daddy's car is there, Mommy's truck is, too.
Lots of things with wheels in our garage.
A wagon and a stroller are just to name a few,
Bikes hangin' from the ceiling that I like to ride with you.
The door goes up and down when you push the button on the wall,
Up and down, push the button in my car.
It goes up and down, opening and closing my garage.
Projects on the workbench are a messy free-for-all.
Boxes on the shelves and tools are hangin' on the walls.
Please watch out for kitty as you're headin' towards the door.
Kitty sleeps outside but loves it here much more.
Some garages can hold just one car and others can hold more.
Some people have a carport, a garage without a door.
Some people use the driveway as a place to park their ride,
There's so much stuff a car won't fit inside.
The door goes up and down when you push the button on the wall,
Up and down, push the button in my car.
It goes up and down, opening and closing the garage.
The door goes up and down when you push the button on the wall,
Up and down, push the button in my car.
It goes up and down, opening and closing the garage,
Opening and closing the garage


TRAIN


Words and Music ©2009 Jeff Warren (BMI)
Published by Squeak and Miv Music (BMI)

Freight train going down the track, clickety clack, clickety clack.
Freight train going down the track, as it rolls on through downtown.
Giant diesel engines pullin' all the weight,
Let's name all the cars carrying all the freight.
There's a tanker car, and a hopper car, and a gondola car,
And a flat bed car, and a big box car,
And some giant locomotives,
Pulling all the freight, down the track.
Passenger train going down the track, clickety clack, clickety clack.
Passenger train going down the track, as it rolls on through downtown.
People on the platform standing all around,
Let's name all the cars taking people through the town.
There's a baggage car, and a cafe car, and a coach car,
And a business class car, and a sleeper car,
And some giant locomotives,
Pulling all the people in the cars down the track.
There's a signal at the crossing in the middle of the town,
Red lights start to blink and the gate is coming down.
The bells are ringing, traffic stops, the whistle starts to whine,
Engineer who drives the train goes right on down the line.
Clickety clack, clickety clack, trains are moving down the track.
Listen to the trains downtown and try to reproduce their sounds.
The wheels go squeak.
The brakes go hiss.
The train is loud, it's hard to miss.
The conductor yells, "All aboard!"
The horn goes honk,
As it moves forward.
Locomotive smoke billows in the sky,
Standing on the platform waving the train goodbye.


UNDERWEAR


Words and Music ©2009 Jeff Warren (BMI)
Published by Squeak and Miv Music (BMI)

Under your pants. Under where?
Under your pants. Under where?
Under your pants you're wearing underwear.
Under your pants. Under where?
Under your pants. Under where?
Under your pants you're wearing underwear.
When it's time to pee you pull them down below your knee,
Climb up on the toilet seat,
Then you'll go, what a feat!
You deserve a special treat!
Under your pants. Under where?
Under your pants. Under where?
Under your pants you're wearing underwear.
Under your pants. Under where?
Under your pants. Under where?
Under your pants you're wearing underwear.
It's all up to you to know it's time for number two,
Climb aboard and push it out.
Celebrate, let's jump and shout,
You've got the potty figured out!
And don't forget to wipe then flush and wash your hands.
Potty time is easy once you understand.
The time has come to graduate from diapers can't you see?
Instead you're pulling underwear up over both your knees!
You did it! You're potty trained!
Under your pants. Under where?
Under your pants. Under where?
Under your pants you're wearing underwear.
Under your pants. Under where?
Under your pants. Under where?
Under your pants you're wearing underwear.
Under your pants you're wearing underwear.
Under your pants you're wearing underwear.
I hope!


SANDBOX


Words and Music ©2009 Jeff Warren (BMI)
Published by Squeak and Miv Music (BMI)

When I was a young boy, I saw the world through a young boy's eyes.
The city was my playground, every day held a new surprise.
Like what was in my lunchbox? Who would I play with after school?
Could I spend the night at Grandma's house? Would the new girl think I was cool?
I wanna go back when I was a kid, play in that sandbox with all of my friends.
Our worries were few and our problems were small,
And the days seemed to have no end.
We had no barriers between us. We built no walls back then.
Instead of growing older, I wanna go back to that sandbox again.
I'm grown up now with time focused on adult responsibilities,
Like going to work and payin' the bills, taking care of my family.
I'm a father now and I've made a vow to preserve the innocence of youth,
For my children it's a gift I pray that they'll give their children too.
In my backyard I see my kids play in that sandbox with all of their friends.
Their worries are few and their problems are small,
And the days seem to have no end.
They have no barriers between them, no walls between these friends.
Through the eyes of my children I get to go back to that sandbox again.
When we start to think like children, our problems fade away.
Instead of going out to fight, we should all go out to play.
I wanna go back when I was a kid, play in that sandbox with all of my friends.
Our worries were few and our problems were small,
And the days seemed to have no end.
We had no barriers between us. We built no walls back then.
Instead of growing older,
Instead of growing older,
Instead of growing older,
I wanna go back to that sandbox again.